God bless Godmothers

Today we went to visit a church in the district. It's always really cool to fellowship with different churches. I just enjoy the variations you see in the cultures of each church but boy do the different start times wear me out. In comes TJ's godmother, who saves the day by taking him for the afternoon so we can get some rest.



So in the 5 hours she will have him we are trying to see a movie and attend part of a celebrity basketball game taking place in the district. I know that doesn't sound like rest but it is. Off to have a good time.

Sleep!!

Of all the riches in the world, nothing is more valuable to me than sleep right now. TJ is in the throws of teething agony and seriously, if baby ain't happy the entire house is unhappy. Forget the whole saying about mama being happy. A couple of nights ago he woke up every 30 minutes through the first 6 hours of the night. The following day I was caught in an endless cycle of feed, rub gums, change runny diaper, offer pedialyte, rinse soiled clothes and sanitize changing area. Fast foward to today, runny poopies are still here but down by 50% and he is a lot less demanding. Needless to say I am still worn out but sound the alarm.....he slept from 9:30 to7:00. Finally, some sense of normalcy has returned. Even with the long stretch of sleep, I still have a huge sleep debt. Hopefully I will take a huge chunk out of it over the weekend.

In more exciting news, we started brushing gums today. He loves it. So I know it mat be overkill because he is lacking in the tooth department but I am fearful of rotten teeth pushing through his gums. Hey it serves multiple purposes. It cleans those gorgeous gums and soothes the itchies. He likes to chew on my fingers anyway so may as well add a brush and kiddie past to the mix.

The Weight Issue

So I thought I would take this post pregnancy weight loss deal by the horns and get it done and over with. Boy was I wrong. I lost an initial 30 lbs in the first 6 weeks but then it all came to a halt. I have been stalled out at 194 for over 10 weeks now. What in the world gives?

I have been working out like crazy, but the scale just isn't budging. I am eating well in general and making changes everyday to make my diet even better. I just don't understand what is happening with me. At first I thought I was loosing inches so all would be well but I can't tell any difference in my clothes. I just don't know what I should do next. Life is too busy to only eat 1100 calories a day. I'm not ruining my metabolism to lose weight or risking my health because taking care of TJ is top priority for me. I can't do anything that will take me from my best.

Anywho, I have given myself the next 30 days to get to 189. I need to loose 6 lbs in the next 30 days or I am going to.....well I don't know what I will do but it needs to happen. A lot of people have told me to focus on cardio and less on strength training but I think that's silly. Honestly I rather be a toned 180 than a flabby 160. So I have to keep that going. I just have to figure out what I am doing wrong.

5 days before the baby



5 days after the baby


13 weeks post baby


17 weeks post baby

Getting Too Big

From the time TJ was born, I have been anticipating seeing his juicy legs in those cute creeper outfits. Actually, before he was born I went to my favorite baby stores and purchased as many creepers (the ones dad would approve of anyway) I could find. Fast foward almost 4 months. It's not quite summer but it's one seriously hot spring and my opportunity to live out my creeper fantasy has finally come true.

I take of the tags and plop my juicy boy on the changing table, only to hit an immediate road block. Can't get it over his shoulders easily. OK breathe, take it slow. Over the shoulders....whew. Then I pull it over the belly and button it up. I take a moment to admire the sight of those juicy legs, then I sit him up. From here it all goes down hill. Not only is the outfit pulling in his stomach area but its all kinds of bunched up in his crotch.




I checked the tags again because I know this is a 9 month outfit. Yeah 9 months. I take that one off and try another, that's a no. I repeat this cycle until all but 8 outfits are in the, "This will never be worn" pile. Who knew my 16 week old would not be able to wear 9 month clothes. I thought I was being proactive by skipping the 3-6 and 6-9 month clothes but going to the 9 months. I guess I was wrong. Oh well, I guess we will be rolling up the legs on 9-12 month clothes on baby TJ before he hits 6 months.

After I shed a few tears in memoriam to the adorable outfits and money spent on them I let out a huge laugh. Despite the current fashion dilemma this robust baby is causing I am beyond blessed to have such a healthy baby. I will never have to fear hearing the dreaded words, failure to thrive, from the doctor's mouth. Even if he gets sick, he has more than a few pounds to spare. Honestly, from the day he was born everyone was saying he will eat and grow us out of house and home. I figured they were right, I just didn't think it would start now. Here are a few pictures of other things he has outgrown.

His feet totally hang over the end of his car seat.


The bathtub.


Oh yes and we are teething. Teething has completely rocked our schedule but we are fighting with everything we have. This is a mesh pouch that holds frozen fruit and veggies. The mesh keeps anything the baby could choke on from getting into the baby's mouth but allows them to gum on something hard and nutritious at the same time. I love it and he loves,even though he gets frustrated because he is not used to working or waiting for his food. But the great taste of frozen pear keeps him motivated.

What's really going on with me

To put it simply everything and nothing at all. I know that seems to be quite ironic but hey the truth is the truth. I personally think life is colorful enough for a myriad of ironies to exist.

Anywho, Steve and I are working very hard to adjust to parenting. We are showering baby TJ with love as often as possible and tending our wounds as he showers us with the bumps and bruises any new baby would dish out to rookie parents. LOL For me this is done by devoting my days and nights to TJ. I have yet to return to work, the first attempt fell to the fears of both Steve and I, or at least work outside of the home. I spend my days reading the sweetest books and singing songs I haven't heard in over 25 years or so. We do the tummy time deal, the rolling game and the footsy game. We are learning to hold our bottle and eat off a spoon. We are coordinating hand activity with eye sight with 95% accuracy these days. Then there is the laundry, meals, my workouts, cleaning and doggycare.

When I look at that I realize I do a lot throughout the day but often times I can look back on my day and feel as if I have nothing to show for it. Don't get me wrong, seeing my beautifully healthy, happy baby at the end of the day is wonderful but I often feel a sense of guilt. I am often pretty exhausted throughout the day but I can't really justify it. So when people ask me what's going on, I say everything but nothing at all.

I know what I am feeling right now is probably part of the adjustment to going from a work environment to staying at home. I have always been somewhat a taskmaster. I get things done, that's what I do. For whatever reason, I thought I would continue that tradition once I had even more time at home. Boy was I wrong. I think I am less productive in the house, I have less time to keep myself up and more tired than ever. I am not sure if I am really in a place where I want to complain about it or make an adjustment so that I may except my new reality.

Though it has not been my habit of excepting anything beneath my expectations. I am considering a change of heart. Until I learn otherwise some things just have to fall off the list of priorities. I'm still not sure what I will part with but I now understand that I must choose. I know I will not allow anything to get in the way of loving that baby of mine completely. I can't let the hubby suffer and I can't afford to let myself go either. So what's a girl to do?

I'm sure in time I will figure it out.

Through all of the busyness or the lack there of. We found some time to have family pictures taken for Steve's race.

My Birth Story

I wish I could say I was one of those women who unexpectedly went into labor while hanging out somewhere. I wish I could say I needed to rush home to pack my bag because I just wasn't ready. Instead I can say my bag was packed and repacked 3 times before I saw the first sign of labor. We made it to my due date and then we sailed right on by it.

I felt the first contraction around 3:30 am on December 17th which was my due date. Thinking I was well on my way to laborville, I gathered my rice sock, cold packs, massagers, iPhone (with labor playlist set). I dimmed the lights then found myself a cozy spot on the futon bed downstairs. I asked Steve to get as much sleep upstairs as he could while I didn't need him because I was sure he wouldn't sleep at all once I got to the point where I did need him.

As I settled in my contractions started to settle into a pattern. 3 contractions at about 5 minutes apart, a 10 minute break then it would start all over again. I decided I should try to get some sleep while I still could so I started to nod off. I fell in and out of sleep awaking for the occassional tough contraction but usually quickly finding that sleepy place again.

Around 2:00pm that afternoon, Steve suggested that we start walking. So off to the mall we go to walk TJ into this world. After a couple of hours of squatting, swaying and breathing in public, I decided it was time to labor in private where I could reserve some dignity. On the way home my contractions started coming 3-4 minutes apart, making the ride extremely difficult. I made the first call to the on-call midwife who told me to wait until they were a solid 3 minutes for 2 hours.

Once we got home, Steve ran a tub of hot water for me to soak in. From that point I began a rotation of soaking in the tub then leaning on Steve. We did that until I met the requirements somewhere near 1am Friday morning and then off to the hospital we went. As they were checking me in they noticed my blood pressure was extremely high and tested me for pre-eclampsia. The test was negative but they were not convinced so they decided to do a 24 hour urine analysis. In the meantime they checked me and I was only 2 centimeters. So they sent us home but with a sleeping pill and a huge jug to collect urine in.

We get home and I finally get some rest, even though every contraction was strong enough to wake me up. Once the sleeping pill wore off, I was back to working through every contraction with the help of Steven. We did that through the night until I was completely exhausted. Around noon on Saturday I had enough and went to the hospital to demand either pain relief or something that would allow me to sleep so I could deal with them better.

Once I got there my water broke and they had to keep me there regardless. A few minutes into our celebration we were told I had protein in my urine and would be treated for pre-eclampsia. That meant I would be given magnesium and would have to labor in the bed. Since I was at the point where I could not handle a single contraction without standing and swaying, I knew I had to have an epidural.

So by 12:45 on Saturday I was in the hospital bed with a million and one tubes running into my body. Completely unaffected by the contractions, I slept like I never had before. After some time the doctors expressed concern about my failure to progress because of the magnesium. The decision was made to give me pitocin and then we began the attempt to find a perfect balance between contraction inducing pitocin and muscle relaxing magnesium. Of course you can't have pitocin in the mix without those troubling heartbeat fluctuations, so they dialed it down and waited out the 24 hours before the inevitable Cesarean took place.

I don't remember much of the surgery, I barely remember hearing him cry or seeing his face the in the operating room. I do remember waking up and not feeling a baby in belly for the first time in 35 weeks. A few minutes later they rolled my little angel into my room and it was all worth it.

Here He Is

I know it is has been a couple of months since I last blogged but I've been busy. LOL
Actually I or should I say we are still busy. Our little angel was born Sunday December 20th and weighed 9 lbs 12 oz. He was absolutely amazing and I was instantly in love. Labor is a story in itself and will be shared at a later date. What's most important is Thomas Joseph is happy and healthy in his home.My heart is beyond full and I am not sure if I can take anymore.